Fighting for our love
by amazingheart
Summary: Tonks needs to learn how to love a person & take chances. Lupin on the other hand needs to learn to express his love and take risks. Will past events damage their love for one another? TITLE HAS CHANGED! Formally known as You and me equals us and forever
1. Flash back: How it all started

**Chapter One- **

**Flashback: How it all started…**

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, J.K Rowling does.

Pairing: R. Lupin and N. Tonks

Summary: Tonks needs to learn that love doesn't take seconds to bloom. Lupin on the other hand needs to learn to express his feelings and to not be afraid to love. Will both of them help each other learn to love or will their friendship shatter to pieces?

On a rainy morning, a pretty pink-colored-hair woman sat at the windowsill of her house thinking over last night events. "It's not my fault. No it isn't. I have every right to be mad at him. Every right to put him through hell like he did to me… I hate him. I hate everything about him..." thought a tear smeared face Tonks to herself. Remus Lupin. The man she thought she loved now hates him with true passion. Tonks wondered, what if she never expressed her true feelings to Lupin, or at least not tell him…what if? Sighing, Tonks knew she couldn't turn time back, well she could, but there would be no use because she would always have that feeling with her.

**Flash back two weeks ago **

"Man I love the great outdoors! Just seeing such nice scenery with the sun setting makes me so happy!" said Lupin cheerfully.

"Really? It's just a sun… there's nothing that special about it, sure it makes our day bright and everything happy…but…" trailed off Tonks.

"But…? What do you mean? I'd rather have the sun then the moon for all I care! At least the sun doesn't turn me into a werewolf every month!" Lupin said starting to get a little annoyed. _Wow this is stupid…_

"I'm sorry…it's just that, I don't know I never feel happy anymore, it's like something is missing," said Tonks quietly _YOU YOU'RE THE THAT'S ONE MISSING!... Gosh if only I could tell you…then my life would be perfect! _

"What do you mean missing? You have everything! A house, money, friends- What more do you need?" asked Lupin now looking a little curious.

"Never mind…there's something missing in my life and I'd rather not talk about it!" said Tonks who was now walking away.

_Geez, I swear this girl can be so dramatic at times_ "Wait! I'm sorry if I angered you… tell me what's wrong, what's missing in your life? If you want ill even try to get it or find it or whatever for you so that you'd be happy! said Lupin.

"No you can't get it, you can't find it! And it's not worth telling you anyway!" cried Tonks now trying to get away from Lupin.

"Oh my gosh! This was supposed to be a good day for me, why are you being like this! You know it's not everyday I am in a good mood! Just tell me what's wrong. And what do you mean I can't find and it's not worth telling me? I'm your damn friend! Is trust something that I lack of? If not then you can tell me!" said Lupin starting to really get ticked off.

"No… you don't lack trust…"

"Then why can't you tell me?" said Lupin lowering his voice this time.

"You want to know? YOU really want to know? You really want to know what's missing in my life?" asked Tonks having a fed-up look on her face.

"YES! Just tell me! What do you want me to kneel down and say 'Please oh gracious Tonks the best witch ever! Please tell me your secret and what you really want!' " said Lupin trying to lighten up the mood.

"FINE! YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW?"

"Calm down! Don't shout!"

Ignoring him she went on and shouted, "THE ONE THING THAT'S MISSING IN MY LIFE IS YOU! HAPPY? YOU!"

"W-What….?"

"You heard me! Every time I'm with you, I always want to cherish that moment. Every time you're not with me, I can't stop thinking about you! I don't know why but that's just how it is!" shouted Tonks.

Lupin just stood there bewildered, as if he just saw a full moon.

"Well…say something? I told you everything, don't you think it's right that you say something in return?" said Tonks.

"No…"

"No? What do you mean "no"? What, now your going to start copying me when I didn't want to tell you what I was feeling?" said Tonks sounding aggravated.

"No…Tonks, it's just not right…I am to old for you, poor, and most of all dangerous! It wouldn't be right if we were together. Besides I can't say I feel the same towards you" said Lupin _WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU STUPID WIZARD! TELL HER! TELL HER EVERYTHING!_

"…I knew it wasn't worth it… don't ever talk to me again, consider this the end of our friendship!" cried Tonks running away in tears. _God I'm so stupid…Why! Why did I give in and tell him? Sure he's handsome and all, his voice so soothing…DAMNIT!_

"I'm sorry…" whispered Lupin to himself.

**Well that's it for Chapter one, read and review please! (By the way this is my first story)**


	2. Thinking it over

**Chapter Two- **

**Think it over**

Sorry about some errors in the last chapter. All sentences in _italics_ are being thought to themselves by the characters! Oh and I forgot to put that chapter one is a spoiler for the 6th book and that Sirius is alive in this story!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own any of the characters, J.K Rowling does.

**Pairing**: R. Lupin and N. Tonks

**­­­­­­­­­­­­­----------------------------**

**Grimmauld Place 12**

(BANG!) was the loud sound heard by the way Tonks closed the door followed by loud hurrying footsteps to another loud bang by a bedroom door. Having a bad feeling about this Mrs. Weasley went up to the room Tonks was staying in for the week.

"Tonks…?" knocked Mrs. Weasley.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" cried Tonks.

"Dear Tonks, come on…let's talk about whatever is upsetting you..." said Mrs. Weasley trying to sound assuring. _Please don't let it be about Remus, please…_

"Well the l-last time I-I t-tried that, t-this is w-where it got m-m-m-me!' sniffed Tonks.

"Come now, tell me what happened," asked Mrs. Weasley now having a major feeling it was about him.

"Well… (now calming herself down) I don't know…the feelings just got all built up inside of me that I just exploded and told him everything! I'm so stupid! Stupid, stupid, stupid!" cried out Tonks.

"Dear, it mustn't have been that bad…what did he say?"

"That's just it! He didn't reply at first but then he said that he didn't feel the same towards me and started rambling about how he was poor, dangerous and old. Like shit, I don't care about any of those things. Sure he was dangerous- but that's a risk I'm willing to take! Poor? I don't care! We'll find a way to get money besides every problem is an opportunity in disguise! Old? Love is never too old!" cried out Tonks now getting up and walking over to the window.

"Dear, dear… (now walking over to Tonks and putting a comforting hand on her shoulder) He's just worried you know…I mean did you tell him any of this?" asked Mrs. Weasley.

"No…I just sort of blew up in his face and ran away until I reached this place," said Tonks now recalling the last moments when she was with Lupin. _Damn, I should have told him all that…then maybe he would've understood everything, all the feelings I had for him---_

"Tonks? (waving a hand in her face)"

"W-what? Oh sorry about that," said Tonks breaking away from her thoughts.

"Well, I'll let you off to bed now, feel better we'll talk more tomorrow," said Mrs. Weasley now departing from the room.

"Hey!"

"Yes?"

"Thanks…" said Tonks with a little smile.

"No problem, I'll always be here if you need me" said Mrs. Weasley comfortingly and closed the door.

Sighing, Tonks led herself to the empty bed. _Why do you have to be so difficult? Can't you see I'm willing to love you? Gosh men are soo oblivious at times! Or maybe it's just me…maybe I should just forget you, forget what I had for you, or at least just ignore you._ Tears now began to form on her face, thinking to herself, _it won't be easy, and it will be hell. _Feeling too tired to think of it more she fell asleep.

(Door Creaking open) Lupin walked into the house feeling like he shouldn't have been there in the first place. _Damn, I have no where else to stay but here…_

"Penny for your thoughts Lupin?" asked Sirius walking out from a room with what seemed a beer bottle in his hand.

"Why are you still awake?" asked Lupin.

"And might I ask you the same question?" retorted Sirius. _Damn so I guess he's not drunk after all_ thought Lupin.

"Ha…I've just been out, taking a walk and thinking over some things…" replied Lupin to Sirius' question.

"I'm just not tired… so walking out and thinking can explain the sad look on your face?" said Sirius.

"Stop it with the questions, and I'm not sad! If you will, I shall be going to my room now…" said Lupin starting to walk up the stairs.

"And passing by her bedroom would make things better would it?" said Sirius giving Lupin a direct look then walking away.

_Damn, so now I guess everybody must know what had happened earlier. Could things get even worse now?_ Lupin thought to himself then walked to his bedroom passing the room Tonks was sleeping in. _If only you knew...your safety is all that matters to me. Please don't let those feelings of yours get to me…_thought Lupin before proceeding to his room.

Morning came and the sun rose up. _Stupid sun…you're the cause of all this!_ Thought Tonks even though she knew it was ridiculous to think it was merely the sun's fault that all these bad things were happening to her.

"Morning—oh, I'll be leaving now." Said Tonks quickly before rushing out of the kitchen and past the front door after she noticed that Lupin was there sitting at the kitchen table.

Sighing, things would get worse and more awkward in this house to Lupin.

"You've got to open your heart dear…don't let something that good get away…think about it," said Mrs. Weasley serving him bacon and eggs for breakfast.

"Thank you…I don't know what your talking about…Let something that good get away? What do you mean by that? It's not like she loves me! N-no it's not like that. Think about it? What else is there to think about? I've said it once and I'll say it again, I don't feel the same towards her and I can't force myself to! Would everyone just please stop playing this game!" said Lupin finishing the rest of his breakfast before leaving.

Sighing, Mrs. Weasley knew this wasn't going to be easy. They we're both being so stubborn. But then again nobody said learning to love someone was going to be easy.

**Well that's it for chapter two… Read and review please!**


	3. Please Believe Me

**Chapter Three**

**Please believe me…**

**Disclaimer**: I don't own any of the characters… J.K Rowling does!

**Pairing: **R. Lupin and N. Tonks

**Authors note: **This story is rated T for some coarse language.

…………….

Lupin was walking along the side walk thinking to him self. _Stupid friends of mine, first Sirius, then Molly, who's next?_ (Sniff) "What the?" he said looking up and seeing a young witch sitting on a bench crying… _damn…Tonks…_ noticing who it was. Lupin was debating on whether to go there and comfort her or to turn around and walk to other way. If he went there and tried to comfort her, it was most likely she would leave and walk away considering what happened before, but if he walked the other way, he wouldn't be able to forgive himself…so the question remains, _what if?_

Lupin then found himself walking towards her. "Tonks…" he whispered slowly.

Looking up, a teary Tonks was surprised to see who it was. Trying to stand up, Lupin made her sit down.

"Tonks…" began Lupin. He put his arms around her to make her feel better.

_Please don't stop hugging me…I'd rather—wait…_ Tonks was now realizing that she shouldn't be here with him and that she had to get away from him. Standing up and forcing herself away from his arms.

"No Tonks, listen to me!" said Lupin grabbing her arm so that she would stop walking away. "Please…"

Tonks stopped walking and faced Lupin. _Why are you making this harder for me? Just let me go and walk away!_

"Look, I'm still not sure what happened yesterday but please don't let what we have end this way…please…" said Lupin trying to convince her.

"You know, I don't know what your problem is! I tell you I love you, what's so confusing about that? And what _we_ have? Tell me what do we have? Cause' to me we don't have anything. NOTHING!" said Tonks now raising her voice.

"Tonks…what I meant is our friendship…don't ruin it because of your feelings…for-for me, just because I don't feel the same way doesn't mean we cant be friends right?" he said. _I hope one day you'll forgive me…_

"Can _you_ be more stupid or what? Obviously it's going to be awkward having you around after I told you what I felt…and its worse cause' every morning I try to convince myself it was all a dream. Do you know I keep crying over you every single day and night? Like, it's clear that I can find _someone_ much better than you and someone who will love me back. But…no you don't know what it's like to be miserable, to love someone who doesn't love you back and I have to suffer through this, and who knows when I'll finally get over you!" she replied. _Shit, what did I say that for? Then again it is true!_

_Oh my fucking gosh…_ thought Lupin.

"Listen to me! I know what it's like to be miserable! I'M A DAMN WEREWOLF IF YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED YET! I HAVE TO ENDURE DAYS WHERE PEOPLE WILL LOOK AT ME, AND CRITCIZE ME! YOU ONLY HAVE ONE PERSON NOT LOVING YOU BACK! ME? I HAVE THE WHOLE WORLD! BELIEVE ME, I KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE MISERABLE AND TO SUFFER!" shouted Lupin. _Calm yourself down you damn wizard! You're going to scare her!_

(Slap!) Tonks hand connected with the side of Lupin's face. Tonks covered her mouth in shock then turned and ran away in the other direction. _Argh…I'm so stupid…I can't take this anymore! I need a new place, some place where no one will find me! But where…Hazardous Grove?_ She thought to herself… Hazardous Grove it is… Not the most exciting and nice place, after all it's named after so many murders and the crimes that had been committed there. She then apparated to the new place she would call home.

_I-I can't believe she did that…_thought Lupin touching the hand-printed mark on his face. _If this is what I have to go through then so be it…_ _She has to lose those feelings for me. Even though it will hurt me for the rest of my life…She has to believe me that I don't love her…_ thought Lupin before walking back to Sirius' house.

Later on during the night……..

"Where's Tonks, Sirius?" asked Mrs. Weasley.

"How should I know? I'm always stuck in this house" he answered.

"I saw Lupin walk out the door in a bit of a hurry this morning, what was that all about?" asked Mr. Weasley.

"Oh…He was rather upset when I brought up Tonks and how he should give her a chance and whatnot…" replied Mrs. Weasley.

"Yeah, even though I'm his best friend he won't even take my advice or listen to me when it comes to women!" said Sirius taking a bite into his steak. "By the way good dinner Molly!"

"Thanks…well I'm getting worried now, I mean Tonks hasn't been acting herself lately ever since the incident between her and Remus. And Remus too, He's been more moody than ever, even the slight mention of Tonks throws him off." said Mrs. Weasley throwing her hands up in the air as if there was no way to help Lupin and Tonks. Just then they heard the closing of the door and looked to see who it was.

"Remus buddy! Come eat dinner now—Oh my god! What happened to your face?" asked Sirius.

"Nothing. Leave me alone!" said Lupin.

"Remus, tell me it wasn't her who did that…?" asked Mrs. Weasley.

'If you must know, all of you…it was her, damn why can't you all accept the fact I don't like her! This was all good when she didn't admit…admit her feelings and shit! And if your going to ask me where she is, forget it cause' I don't know!" screamed Lupin before hurrying his way up the stairs.

"Damn, is Tonks violent or what?" said Sirius.

"Sirius! This is getting worse…we have to find her!" said Mrs. Weasley.

After almost three hours of searching, they found nothing… "I'm sure she will be okay, after all she is a witch and I'm sure she can take care of herself…" assured Mr. Weasley.

"I hope you're right dear…I hope…we better get to sleep, we have a meeting tomorrow…" said Mrs. Weasley before they went off to sleep.

**Hazardous Grove**

'_My new home away from home…At least this is better than having to see that damn wizard everyday'_ thought Tonks before putting all her stuff into place at her new "house" with the flick of her wand. '_Now what? I suppose I could go and meet my neighbors…but then again, this place really creeps me out. Oh Molly…well I better get off to writing to her…'_ she then began to write a letter to Mrs. Weasley.

After she finished, she tied it to an post owl and sent it off to 12 Grimmauld Place.

**Back at Sirius' house**

"MOLLY! There seems to be an owl for you!" shouted Sirius.

"Thank you," (paid the owl) and went up to her room. The letter was from Tonks _Surprising…_she thought.

_Dear Molly,_

_I'm sorry for not informing you sooner about my leave of absence. The reason is that I can't take it anymore. Having him around is pretty much like hell for me…Having to see him everyday and crying over him really affects me._ _I really don't know when I'm coming back…I will get over this…I hope…thank for all your help I'll mail you every month or so…_

_Love always,_

_Nymphadora Tonks_

'_Oh dear…this is not looking good at all'_ thought Mrs. Weasley.

Lupin was up in his room laying on the bed and looking up at the ceiling. He pulled out from under his bed, a picture of his former girlfriend, Cecilia. No one except Sirius and James knew about his tragic story. He remembered that tragic night he lost her to his enemy Fenir Greyback who had murdered her. Ever since the incident six years ago he never wanted to love another witch again. But proving that seemed harder ever since he was developing feelings for Tonks. He looked at the picture, '_what do you want me to do? Please tell me what to do? I don't know if I can keep this up any longer…'_ he thought to himself while looking at the picture. No, he had to fight his feelings. He didn't want anyone that he loved most to get hurt, even if it means sacrificing the love he had for Tonks. _I'll get through this, I know I will…_

**That's it for chapter three! Read and Review please!**


	4. Back to the present, things have changed

**Chapter Four**

**Back to the present, things have changed…**

**Disclaimer**: I don't own any of the characters… J.K Rowling does! I own only the places that are not mentioned in the book.

**Pairing: **R. Lupin and N. Tonks

**Authors note: **This story is rated T for some coarse language.

…………….

**Back to the present**

'_Two weeks…that seems pretty long…I guess…' _thought Tonks beginning to get fed up of thinking back. Who was she kidding? Those two weeks were horrible. Just staying in that house made her even more depressed. She knew the only thing that would make her happy was Remus. _'Remus…I wonder what he thinks of me now? I mad bitch maybe…Gosh I think I slapped him too hard…no Tonks your not supposed to like him, don't like him, say it with me, I don't like him, I don't like him…I don't—oh forget it…now I must be crazy having a conversation with my conscience in my head…'_ Should she go back? Knowing Molly, she would try to find out where she was living at the moment and would send about a dozen letters a day asking her to come back and to stay strong. No she'll stay, she'll get used to the loneliness, the sad, depressing house, oh Tonks couldn't bear to continue on.

…………….

Back at Sirius' house, things hadn't gotten any better. The meetings were boring and Mr. and Mrs. Weasley were now departing to go back to the Burrow.

"Sirius, I trust that you watch him and try to get word from Tonks okay?" asked Mrs. Weasley.

"I will Molly, I will" he answered. Although he wasn't quite sure how he would be assured her anyway that he would try.

"Thank you, good day then!" she said walking to the car with Mr. Weasley.

Just as they left, Lupin came down and walked to the kitchen. "Morning Sirius, you're up early…"

"I regret to inform you that it's 11:34 am, so I would consider that as up on time not early," said Sirius with a smirk on his face.

"Funny…what's for breakf—lunch," asked Lupin. "Sorry Remus, but your going to have to cook for yourself, I'm a bit too lazy right now…" said Sirius leaving the kitchen.

'_How nice to have a meal sitting on the table waiting for you…' _thought Lupin. Just then he remembered how Tonks usually cooks him his meals, and they were quite good. (Sigh) _'where is she anyway?' _Lupin asked himself. He had to admit, he was beginning to miss her…a lot. Just then Sirius came into the kitchen again. "Hasn't Tonks come home yet?" asked Lupin. "What does it look like to you? It's been past two weeks now if you haven't noticed…" answered Sirius. "Where the hell has that witch gone off to now?"

"I don't know that's why I'm asking you!" retorted Lupin. _'Great, I'm stuck with two things to feel guilty of now…'_

"You know Remus, it's never too late to apologize, especially to someone that you love." said Sirius.

"Would you quit doing that? I would if I knew where she was…" said Lupin

"That's why you're going to help me find her!" said Sirius grabbing Lupin's arm and heading to the front door.

"And where do you think we'll find her? Have you ever thought how large this whole place is?" asked Lupin.

"Ha…we don't need to search…all we have to do is turn this device on and we'll find out where that witch is…" said Sirius taking out a tracking device from his pocket.

"And where did you get that _thing_?" asked Lupin scratching his head.

"The amazing wonders of muggle stuff…Harry gave it to me, in fact I forgot why he gave it to me, but yeah it showed you that you must take this little black chip, trust me it's mini, and stick it on to something that the person you would track down would wear. Of course I did it as a prank to Tonks, but looks like it would be some use after all! And to make it even more effective I cast a spell on it so it would show both wizard and non-wizard places" explained Sirius.

"Oh okay…so what exactly did you stick that chip on then?" asked Lupin.

"Her favourite earrings! Man I'm so smart! Muggle things can be of use once in awhile, brilliant I must say!" said Sirius cheerfully.

"Okay track her down!" said Lupin starting to get impatient.

"Hold on, geez…tracking…tracking…tracking…finally it's loading where she is!" said Sirius. 'it's…omg…why the hell would she be in Hazardous Grove? Out of all the places! Did it ever occur to her how dangerous that place is? Oh well time to go fetch her! " said Sirius wanting to get this over with.

"No…I'll go get her, I need to talk to her anyway…" said Lupin

"Whatever you say…" said Sirius walking back into the house

'_I've made up my mind…I'm going to tell you the truth…everything…you need to know how much you mean to me and that I am willing to love you and facing problems are risks I'm prepared to take…_


	5. Please Forgive me

**Chapter Five**

**Please forgive me…**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any of the characters except for the ones that aren't mentioned in the books!

**Authors Note:** This story is rated T for some coarse language.

**Pairing:** R. Lupin and N. Tonks

………….

It was a bright sunny day; Tonks could no longer hold herself hostage inside her house. She decided to take a walk and explore the place. As she walked around she noticed the place wasn't that bad after all. The wizards and witches around her seemed to be nice and even greeted her. One young wizard, say the same age as Tonks, had approached her and asked her name.

"Hello, I'm Ivan Delacoure (stretching out hand for handshake)" the man said.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Nymphadora Tonks, call me Tonks if you will," she replied. _'Hmm…he looks alright…Handsome, yes, polite, yes and willing to love me? we'll just find out!_ Although Tonks knew she was jumping to conclusions too fast I mean she just met the guy!

"So do you live around here?" asked Ivan.

"Yes, actually down that street, last house to your right…" she said pointing her hand down the street.

"Wow, why would a beautiful witch like you be living here for?" asked Ivan. _Flattery will do just the work!_

"For reasons you wouldn't want to know," said Tonks giving him a stern look. _'Yeah a guy I like doesn't like me back and is driving me crazy! But now that you're here maybe I am here for a purpose—no Tonks stop that! You just met the man give it some time! But then again if this guy can take her mind of Remus then fine!'_ she thought.

"Oh I'm sorry if I was being a little nosy, I mean you're beautiful after all, any wizard would ask you that, would you like to go out for dinner tonight?" answered Ivan.

"I would gladly like that! Being stuck in a house isn't much fun anyways…" said Tonks.

"Okay so I'll be at your house at 7:00 pm, and I won't be late!" said Ivan before leaving.

Wow, in just a span of 30 minutes she already got a date. Maybe getting over Remus would be easy after all. She was already getting infatuated by Ivan. Who knows maybe it will turn into love after all! _'Finally, this is getting to be easier now…just a little easier.'_

Meanwhile Lupin had just arrived in Hazardous Grove. _'Okay I'm here…now what?'_ the place was so huge that he didn't know where to start. _Residential area or industrial area?_ Knowing Tonks, she should be around the industrial area with the parks, stores, restaurants and whatnot. So off he went looking around.

(Knock, Knock) was the sound heard by Ivan knocking on the door (obviously). "Coming!" shout Tonks making her way to the door. "H-Hi!"

"Wow looking prettier than last time! Shall we? " said Ivan while extending his arm out to Tonks.

In just a few minutes (they apparated) they appeared in front of a beautiful restaurant. _'Wow…this is amazing!'_ Tonks thought.

"This is my favourite restaurant and since you're so beautiful I ought to think I should take you to it!" said Ivan flashing one of his cute smiles.

"It's so wonderful to be here!" said Tonks excitedly. "Good, shall we order now? (taking a seat at a table right beside a window)" asked Ivan. "Yes that would be good." answered Tonks.

"So tell me more about yourself..." asked Tonks while taking a bite out of her delicious dinner.

"Well I'm 26 years old, lonely, and in need of a woman," he answered with a smile on his face.

"haha really now and is that why you picked me out of all the other witches out there?" she asked.

"Of course, your beautiful and you seem intelligent and you seem you're in need of someone as well" he answered still keeping that grin on.

'_yeah I do need a man, I'm just not sure if it's you—wait what are you talking about? Of course this guy is perfect! It's time you got over that other stupid wizard!'_ she thought. "Yeah I do."

"Let me make that loneliness go away…" he whispered and leaned in to kiss her.

Meanwhile…_'Where could have this woman gone off to?' _Lupin thought. He started to walk past a restaurant that Tonks and Ivan were at, and at that exact moment he looked through the window to see a man kissing a girl…putting a hand over his face, he saw who the girl was… _'Tonks…'_

**Read and Review Please!**


	6. Journey through anger

**Chapter Six**

**Journey through anger…**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any of the characters except for the ones that aren't mentioned in the books!

**Authors Note:** This story is rated T for some coarse language.

**Pairing:** R. Lupin and N. Tonks

………….

He was too late. She had done as he said, and now it was too late for him to tell her the truth. Feeling angered at himself he apparated back to Sirius' house… '_now it's up to me to forget about you…'_

"No wait…Ivan, I think you are a good man…it's just I don't think I'm ready to be in a relationship right now…I'm so sorry (getting up and leaving)" said Tonks leaving a dumbfounded Ivan there.

'_Gosh Tonks, what is wrong with you! Your with a man that is willing to love you and you blow him off? Okay maybe the kiss was a little too soon but still! Stop thinking about that stupid wizard Remus! You are going to ruin your life like this!_ She thought. Just then she had a feeling Lupin had been around here like he was near her. Oh now she can really say she's going crazy. _'I miss him…maybe I should go and apologize to him…after all I did slap him a little too hard. I'll apologize and see him one last time and the others too…_' she thought.

Back at Sirius' house….

"So did you find her?' asked Sirius with a sandwich in his hand.

"Yes I did…" answered Lupin.

"And…?"

"And I was too late."

"For….?"

"I was too late, not only did I not apologize to her but she was with another man…" said Lupin sadly.

"Hey they could be friends for all you know!" said Sirius.

"Does being friends include kissing in a damn restaurant!" asked Lupin.

"Oh…"

"God I can't take this anymore!" and with that Lupin ran outside.

"Remus! Come back!" said Sirius.

'_So fucking stupid…so damn fucking stupid…(punching and kicking wall) WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME? WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?_' he thought angrily and repeated started to smash anything in his way. _'YOU (pointing at the moon) YOU TOOK EVERYTHING AWAY FROM ME! YOU'RE THE REASON WHY I ACT LIKE THIS! IF I WASN'T A DAMN WEREWOLF I WOULDN'T HAVE ANY ENEMIES RIGHT NOW! _' Punched the wall one more time before sliding down and putting his hand on his head and crying.

"Remus…."

**Yes I know it's short…next chapter will be long! Read and Review Please!**


	7. Heartbreak Confusions

**Chapter Seven**

**Heartbreak Confusions**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any of the characters except for the ones that aren't mentioned in the books!

**Authors Note:** This story is rated T for some coarse language.

**Pairing:** R. Lupin and N. Tonks

…………

Lupin looked up to see who was saying his name. Surprised to see it was Tonks. Getting up he started to walk away. _'I'm sure this would remind you of something…' _he thought.

"No Remus wait!" said Tonks trying to stop him.

"Ha, so now you must know how it feels having to stop someone from walking out on you!" he said coldly taking his arm away from her. _'Yeah you better know how it feels!'_

"I know…I'm sorry for everything... for the way I've been acting, for that slap for—"

"For putting me through hell? For putting me through guilt trips? For not understanding me?" he said as he cut her off.

"Well yes, but you have to understand I mean this isn't entirely my fau--"

"And it's also my fault too? For what? For not saying I felt the same way?" he said as he cut her off again.

"Why are you acting like this? It's not like I did anything wrong while I was away for what, two weeks?" she said with a stern look.

"Oh you didn't do anything wrong did you? Of course you did something wrong!" he spat at her.

'_Maybe I was wrong to think that I should tell you the truth...' _he thought.

"Okay…then tell me what I did wrong? Seeing that you are soo perfect!" Tonks asked turning away from him.

"Oh you really want to know what you did wrong? Fine, while you were out in that hazardous whatever that place is called, we were all worrying and searching for you!" Lupin said throwing his hands into the air.

"Worrying? You were worrying about me? What a miracle! Usually I didn't think you'd give two shits about me!" said Tonks.

Ignoring her Lupin continued and said, "And while you were out making out in a restaurant I was looking all over for you! And seems like I wasted my time doing that!" said Lupin turning away from Tonks.

"Y-you saw that? No it's not what it looks like it's--"

"It's not what it looks like? Stop saying the famous line that everyone says when they're caught doing something. It _is _what it looks like. Simple. A man and you kissing…What's so hard to understand about that?"

"No really it isn't wh—" Tonks began to say before getting cut off yet again by Lupin.

"You know the only reason I was looking for you is because I wanted to tell you the truth. Yes I do have feelings for you and I wanted to apologize to you as well! But no, I see you've gotten over me and I don't think I love you anymore" shouted Lupin. Man was he confusing himself.

"OMG! What is it with you? First you say you don't love me and now your saying it and then you say you don't? WHICH ONE IS IT?" shouted Tonks back.

"I don't know and it doesn't matter anyways since your doing fine in Hazardous Grove and already have another guy to test your feelings on and to make out with!" shouted Lupin.

"You know that's the one thing I hate about you! You assume too much and jump to conclusion in less then a second!" retorted Tonks.

Lupin had had enough of this. He started to walk away, but then Tonks held on to him trying to stop him. "LET GO OF ME!" he screamed.

"NO! YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU AND I WOULDN'T LOVE ANYONE ELSE! PLEASE BELIEVE ME!" screamed Tonks.

"WHY? WHY SHOULD I? THAT MOMENT IN THE RESTURANT IS ENOUGH TO CHANGE MY MIND! I DON'T THINK I'D WANT TO LOVE A WITCH WHO CAN'T MAKE UP HER MIND!" and with that he forced himself out of her grip and apparated to a near by bar. _'Funny I don't drink…but damn do I need to get rid of all these feelings of anger, sadness and whatnot out of me…'_

Three shots of Vodka please!

All he did was ask for more and more and more drinks.

"One shot of tequila please!"

and by the time you know it this is what happened…

"Wun biiggg glasb ub beeeerrr!" asked a drunken Lupin.

"Sir I really think you should stop!" said the bartender.

"ARREE YOU THRE-THREEATENNINGG ME-UH?" said Lupin grabbing the shirt of the bartender.

"Sir, please calm down!"

Just in time, Sirius showed up and a bit relieved to have found Lupin.

"REMUS! NO!" Sirius shouted before stopping Lupin from punching the bartender. Silently casting a sleeping spell on Lupin he carried him out of the bar. _'Gosh you never got drunk before! And how many pounds do you weigh? So heavy! ARGH!'_ Sirius thought.

Meanwhile Tonks went to the Burrow to see Mrs. Weasley. She was in desperate need of someone to talk to.

"Molly…it's all my fault (sniff) it's all my fault!" she said as she cried onto the shoulder of Mrs. Weasley.

"Tonks dear…what happened now?" asked Mrs. Weasley leading them to the couch.

"He said he loved me! He admitted it! But then he saw me and this man named Ivan kissing in a restaurant and Remus suddenly stopped loving me or I DON'T KNOW! He's so confusing!" said Tonks and kept crying.

"Really—wait who's Ivan? Kissing? What on earth were you doing with a wizard? I thought you were staying in your house all locked up?" asked Mrs. Weasley.

"Ivan was a wizard I met and he took me to dinner and he well sort of came on to me and started kissing me and I don't know, I guess (Sniff) while Remus was looking for me he spotted us at the restaurant! Ohhhhhh!" she let out a cry. "I'm so stupid!"

"No dear you aren't! I mean I understand you would look for someone else to help ease your pain for Remus…But now that we know he does feel the same way we will try to convince him no matter what that what happened in the restaurant with Ian—"

"Ivan, Molly"

"Yes Ivan, that it didn't mean anything…" assured Mrs. Weasley.

"You know how stubborn he is! How he wont listen. No he's just doing this to get back at what I did to him!" cried out Tonks.

"Come on let's get to bed…We'll talk more when morning comes. We'll sort this out don't worry darling." Assured Mrs. Weasley.

"FINALLY!" shouted Sirius happy to get home. Laying Lupin down on his bed, Sirius heard Lupin mumble out something.

"Cecelia….what…I….do? Tonks….love...her…" he said in his sleep.

"Learn to love her Remus, learn to love her…" said Sirius before walking out of the room.

Sirius didn't know what had happened tonight but it was obvious that Tonks had shown up and they yet again had an argument. Could these two people be so stubborn and blind?

**Should I make this into a long term story or should I end it soon? Read and Review Please! And thanks to those who did review!**


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